Thai Traffic Cops
June 1, 2008
By Marc Holt
Foreign drivers in Thailand often complain about their treatment at the hands of the traffic police. I can’t honestly say I have ever had any real problems with them. The first thing I noticed when I was pulled over by a Thai traffic cop was how polite he was. Every cop since then, even if he can’t speak English, has also been unfailingly polite. Now, in case you ask, I am just an average Joe. I don’t drive a Merc or a Beemer. I have always driven average cars. So, it’s not my appearance that influences the police. It could be my approach to them though.
My first wife had a lot of Chinese in her ancestry, so she didn’t look like your typical farung wife. We drove out the back of the Bank of Ayudhaya on the corner of Wireless and Ploenchit roads one day. The traffic was banked up as usual, so I waited until the lights turned green to cross over Ploenchit road. As usual, the selfish, rude Thai drivers would not let me into the lane allowed to go straight over Ploenchit. Instead, I was forced to stay in the left turn only lane. After I crossed Ploenchit I was pulled over by an older looking sergeant. He spoke almost no English, so the conversation went like this.
“You left turn.”
Now, I knew that if I tried out my brand of Thai on him were going to have all sorts of communication difficulties so I replied in English.
“No, I don’t want to turn left. I want to go straight ahead.”
He looked at me and then reversed tack, “You, no left turn.”
“No, that’s right, I don’t want to go left. I’m going up there.” Said I pointing up Wireless Road.
After a few more tries along those lines the poor cop was getting very frustrated. So, he leaned down and spotted my wife sitting next to me. His eyes lit up and he said, “Ah! Khun Thai!”
My wife gave him her sweetest smile and said in English, “No, I’m Japanese.”
The poor guy gave up. He stepped back, gave us a big salute and a smile, and said, “Pai, pai!” as he waved us away.
Where else in the world would that have happened? I can’t see that happening in Australia where the traffic cops treat you like a convicted pedophile just for straying over a double line.
THE CENTRAL LARD PRAO INTERSECTION
My next run in with the law was with a much higher-ranking cop out at the Central Lard Prao intersection. In those days, it was illegal to drive a pickup on the right lane anywhere. I was driving a Mazda pickup on Phaholyothin Road. As I approached the Lard Prao intersection I got on the right turn lane because I wanted to do a U-turn under Vibhavadi Rangsit expressway. The lights changed green and I started into the intersection.
A traffic cop with a bunch of stars on his shoulder pulled me over. At first he spoke Thai to me, so I did my usual dumb farung thing and pretended I couldn’t speak any Thai at all. He immediately switched to flawless English. Oh oh, I thought to myself. I won’t be getting out of this one. He asked me if I knew that it was illegal to drive a pickup in the right hand lane. I told him yes, I did.
Then he asked me why I was on the right hand lane.
“Well, I want to do a U-turn under Vibhavadi. If I’m in the left hand lane where I’m supposed to be and then I cut across the traffic I may cause an accident. You wouldn’t want that would you?” I replied.
He thought about it a few seconds and then he said, “You are right. Ok, you can go this time, but please don’t do it again, will you?”
After assuring him that I would be a very good boy from then on we drove off, while I marveled at the wonderful Thai police. Once again, I couldn’t imagine that happening anywhere else in the Western world.
Not too long after that the law banning pickups driving in the right lane was repealed. I like to think that my reasoning to that high-ranking cop had something to do with it.
OVER THE DOUBLE LINE
As you drive down the expressway towards Bang-na and go over Sukhumvit road there is a lane on the left for drivers who want to do a U-turn to return to ground level Sukhumvit. At the approach to the railroad crossing the road is marked with double lines. Obviously, drivers are not supposed to cross them.
As I drove down there one day I changed into the left lane just as I passed the U-turn junction. Soon after I was pulled over by a motorbike cop. He was a bit more belligerent that most cops I had come across before. I asked him what the problem was. He said that I had crossed the double line back there. I didn’t think I had, but even if I had it must have been just the last couple of inches.
At first he said we should go to the police station to sort things out. All this was in English. I refused to speak Thai, even though by then I was pretty fluent. I find it is always better to negotiate from a position of strength by making them struggle with my language. He spoke just enough English to make himself understood. I smiled and asked him if I couldn’t make a contribution to the police widows fund instead.
“Yes,” he said, “20,000 baht.”
I thought that was a bit excessive so I told him I would contribute 100 baht instead. He didn’t like that. But he did reduce to 15,000 baht. The game was on. I kept insisting that I would only pay him 100 baht, and he kept reducing his demand by a 1,000 baht at a time. Time dragged on.
During our negotiations he was obviously getting very frustrated, because he was missing out on the chance to chase other miscreants and make even more for those poor widows. I was in no hurry and I wasn’t about to give in and pay this greedy cop any more than the accepted donation. It took us about 20 minutes of bargaining before I finally got him down to 200 baht.
I pulled out my wallet and looked inside. Only 1,000 baht notes there. So I pulled one out and waved it about. He was very nervous when I did that. He didn’t want anyone else to see that we were negotiating.
“I only have 1,000 baht. Do you have any change?” I smiled sweetly up at him in perfect Thai.
He threw up his hands in frustration and told me to get out of there. He wasn’t going to waste any more time on me so I drove off without paying even a token fine.
BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN
I have heard of some foreigners forking over 500 baht, or even more when they get pulled over. You are supposed to negotiate. To accept the first demand is a sign of weakness. Perhaps they couldn’t speak enough Thai. The most you should pay, unless you have been caught for drunk driving, is no more than 200 baht. However, if you do get caught for drunk driving, then you deserve to pay a lot more.
At a meeting with the chief of traffic police recently we discussed the road toll and what he was doing about it. He showed me the statistics to prove that their crackdown on drunk drivers is starting to take effect. Although the number of road deaths was only reduced by about 45 in the last 12 months, the number of fatalities is going down. He also told me that an average of 2 people a day die on the roads in Bangkok alone. He said that he is encouraging his officers to continue cracking down on drunk drivers. So be warned. You face heavy fines and possible jail time if you drink and drive. And if you kill someone while driving drunk you could go to jail for a long time.
So, before you complain about Thai traffic cops in future, think about it. At least you can discuss the problem with them, and very often if you do it right you will drive away scot-free. Just be polite, smile a lot, and remember that a couple of red colored drivers licenses will often get you out of most problems.
Is it Worth Learning Thai?
May 31, 2008
It is amazing how many ex-pats you meet in Phuket and Thailand who have lived here for years and can barely string a sentence together in Thai. I know a few long-term ex-pats whose Thai vocabulary is less than 10 words. The simple fact is you do not need to learn Thai to live in Thailand, especially if you are in one of the tourist destinations such as Phuket. Does that mean it is not worth learning Thai?
I know a few ex-pats who insist it is a total waste of time to learn Thai. They say you do not need to speak Thai because there are always people around who speak English. They say they have wives or staff who can act as interpreters. They even claim to have the moral high ground as they say it is more important for Thais to learn English as it is a major international language. Therefore, by not speaking Thai and forcing Thais to speak English they are doing them a favour.
These people do have a point. You certainly do not have to learn Thai to live in Phuket. However, I would still say there is one other thing these people have in common. They tend to be the people who moan the most about Thailand.
We all have our little frustrations about our lives in Thailand. Living in another culture where many rules seem to be stacked against the foreigner is bound to cause a few complaints. We all moan sometimes but it does seem that it is the people who cannot speak Thai, especially the ones who do not even try, who also spend the most time moaning about the country.
I think there are two reasons for this. The first is that their lack of interest in learning Thai is indicative of a more general negative attitude towards the country. If they had a more positive attitude to Thailand, they would be interested in learning the language. Deciding to make a foreign country your home but then making no effort to learn the local language would seem like you are standing rather aloof to that country.
The second reason is that of course it must be frustrating to not understand what people around you are saying. As much as you do not need to speak Thai, life here is easier and more enjoyable if you do.
So many things are just a little bit more difficult if you cannot speak Thai. It may be a trip to the shops, the market, a restaurant or bar. What if you need a telephone line installed or to deal with a bit of bureaucracy? What about ordering a pizza or some other service over the telephone? It is all possible without speaking Thai but just a little bit easier if you do. Many people who cannot speak Thai find themselves constantly attached to their interpreter. Whether that person is wife, employee or whoever, it must be frustrating to need them by your side all the time.
However, the real benefit of speaking Thai is not the practical side of getting chores done. The real benefit is enjoying your time in Thailand. It is in interacting with Thai people, sharing a joke and a laugh. Understanding Thai people and what is going on around you. You will have a more positive interaction with Thais if you can understand what they are saying.
A trip to the market is much more enjoyable if you can exchange a few words with the stallholders. They will also usually offer you the normal price for their goods if you ask in Thai rather than quoting the inflated price that they sometimes offer westerners. A trip to a Thai restaurant is much nicer when you can talk to the waitress. A night out with Thai friends is so much better if you can understand what they are saying in their language as well as yours.
What is it like not to get the joke? I often find myself socialising in a mixed group of westerners and Thais. Usually a few of the westerners speak some Thai and a few don’t. Sometimes, when the Thais burst out laughing, I see a reaction from the westerners who do not understand what they said. It is an almost paranoid reaction of ‘are they laughing at me.’ It comes from the constant frustration of not understanding what people are saying, of never knowing the joke.
Thais like it when foreigners make an effort to learn their language. Do not be fooled by the myth that they do not want you to learn Thai. Most of them are very pleased if you make the effort and take it as a complement to their country. The tiny handful I have met who do not like foreigners learning Thai feel that way for the worst reason. There is only one reason why Thais don’t want you to learn their language. It is because they do not want you to know what is going on. The only reason they do not want you to know what is going on is that they are up to no good. The old Thai proverb of ‘farang know too much, no good’ has a simple basis. If you know what is going on, you are difficult to con. If your Thai friends do not want you to learn Thai, then you are socialising in the wrong circles. You should find some new Thai friends.
This is only a generalisation but, in general, people who learn to speak Thai have a much more positive outlook on their life in Thailand. This is partly because if they have made a decision to learn the language then they are probably the sort of people who came to Thailand with a positive attitude from the start. It is also because if you can speak Thai then the whole experience of living in Thailand is so much more fulfilling. How can you really expect to enjoy your time with Thai people if you cannot understand what they are saying?
So while you do not need to learn Thai to live in Phuket, you will probably have a much more positive experience if you do.
If you are coming to Thailand for a holiday or longer-term and you want a quick introduction to the Thai language then see our Thai Language Introduction page. To take your Thai speaking skills to the next stage see our Beginner’s Thai Language Lessons
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